Failure

I stepped onto the scale a third time and sighed. It hadn’t moved. For the past three weeks, it hadn’t moved. I was doing my best to put on a brave face, to look at the positive side of things but as the weeks ticked by my determination was beginning to waver. No matter how well our plans are made, no matter much we try to make everything as foolproof as we can, eventually, a wheel will come off. Failure come to us all.

When I started my weight loss journey, I had a simple goal, get back to my old standard weight. I was thirty pounds heavier after I transitioned, and I wasn’t feeling or looking my best. Getting back wouldn’t solve those issues but it would be a great first step. I was surprised then when I started really focusing on my health how quickly my weight began to drop off. To compensate I set my goals a little lower, ten pounds below my previous weight. I knew it wouldn’t be easy though. My body would have trouble getting past the old weight once I had dropped thirty pounds. I had a plan and an exercise regimen in place. I had support. I had a really big motivation. None of that mattered. In late September I hit my old weight and stayed there for five weeks. Five weeks of eating right and exercising with no change. I almost gave up entirely.

Try as we might, we cannot plan for failure. There are no plans that cover absolutely every scenario and even when we think we have everything accounted for, something comes from left field to knock us off course. Life happens. Our plans break, our goals get derailed, but we don’t have too. What happens when failure comes will define how our dreams are formed and how close to the summit we will get.

For many, failure is an unexpected and harsh mistress. It comes when we least expect, and it leaves us to pick up the pieces by ourselves. Sure we can visit others, commiserate over a cider and a soft pretzel, but in the end it is up to the dreamer to start back on her dream. She must be the one to take the first steps towards recovery and towards progress. But how? How can we recover from failure and arm ourselves for the next time?

Each of us will have a different answer to the question and to be honest even our own individual responses will vary from moment to moment. From my person experience here are four ways you can pick yourself up after a fall.

1. Find support. I always tell people to find support when they are feeling down, a friend to cry with. A buddy to make you laugh. A bestie who always tells it to you straight. Failure will almost always bring on a touch of depression and surrounding yourself with friends and love will be a salve for your wounds.
2. Get a new perspective. It can be hard to stay positive in the moment of failure and that is a-ok. We are not robots, that said we also don’t need to get up and start a new plan or new course of action immediately. Get a good nights sleep. Go on a walk. Clear your head as best you can before you change course.
3. Question the questions. Sometimes we fail because we are doing something wrong. Maybe you have been sneaking more sweets than you thought. Maybe your writing time has been eroded because of that new video game. Take the time to ponder if you can do anything different to change the outcome. Sometimes there is no reason though which is why number four is critical.
4. Stay positive. One of the first things to go out the window when I am experiencing failure is my self-confidence.  Nothing will bring about another longer bout of failure than giving up. You can achieve your goals. You can dig yourself out of whatever situation you are in. You just need to stay positive and believe in yourself.

Finally, when failure strikes don’t be afraid to take action. I know I just told you not to act immediately and to get some perspective (It was number 2), but these two things are not exclusive to each other. To start back on your journey again will take willful action on your part. When we fail we immediately want to withdraw. Think of it like touching a hot stove, we reflex away from pain, and this is no different. We want to avoid pain and fear we will fail again. So far to many dreamers stop chasing. They choose to be safe, to stay far away from the risk and the rewards of their dreams. Be bold. Step out into the light again. Your dream is out there waiting for you to chase it down, and you are the only one who can catch it!