It was 2008 and I had the perfect plan for my life. I would combine my love of travel, my love of helping others, and my love of Japan into one single career. I would go overseas and teach English, immerse myself in a culture that I had only seen from afar, and gather up more experiences and ideas for my stories. I had been studying Japanese in my car as I delivered pizza for years. I sold all of my stuff and rented a single room, just to have the experience living in a cramped space. I filled out the massive amount of paper work that was asked of me and waited. I was excited for the first round of interviews that would surely be the next step in this adventure. This was a sure bet. Or so I thought.
After months of waiting, I got an email with my assigned application number. At last, I would know where I had been assigned for my first interview! I checked the webpage and didn’t see it. Thinking I had just overlooked it, I checked again. No. I closed the browser, reopened it. Nothing. My number wasn’t there. The impossible had happened, I hadn’t made it past the first cut. My sure bet ended up a giant, devastating bust.
This is something that I think every dreamer must eventually face. The broken emptiness that comes after trying for a dream, only to have it come crashing down all around you. I had upended my life. I had told everyone my plan, my goal. I was ready to move at a seconds notice. In the end, it just wasn’t meant to be. I sat in my cramped little room, heartbroken and bitter. What could I have done differently? How dare they not chose me! Did I make a mistake on the application? Then the most monstrous question of them all. Now what do I do?
I was lucky. I had the support of my friends. I had the love of those nearest me. I balled up my courage and declared that I wasn’t going to let this bring me down. A new dream dawned that summer. One that seemed as absurd as it was crazy. If I couldn’t get a job in Japan and live there, then I would just have to go visit there myself (yes, singular, alone). That October I boarded a plane for a place I had once only dreamed about. As I walked the streets of Tokyo and Kyoto I could hardly contain my excitement. My dream was fulfilled. Not in the way I had planned, but I could finally reach out and touch it. I was there! I had made it to Japan!
When we start out on our dreams we don’t know if they will fly or fail. We can’t know. The sure bets of this world are all to often left broken and unfulfilled. Whether our dreams succeed or fail, all of us will have to ask ourselves that monstrous question of “now what?” We have the option to walk away. To never dream again. To just get on our little hamster wheels, pay the bills, eat and sleep on repeat. Or we can take the harder road. We can shove our fears aside, dust off our pants, and stand up amid the ruin. We can look at what was once shattered and see something brand new. We can stand amid the ruin and dare to dream again. Don’t stop. Don’t give up. Keep trying. You will get there one day.