Big Goals

Setting really big goals is important. These big goals can inspire us to work hard and can give us a dream to pursue. Yet these big goals are also the most likely to fail. Big dreams are as dangerous as they are necessary but they do not have to fail. There are steps we can take right off the bat to assess and determine how likely we are to reach these big dreams and they are the last two words in the SMART goals acronym. Is that really big dream attainable, and is it realistic?

There are all sorts of dreams out there, they come in every shape and size. I never imagined that I would achieve my dreams of going to Egypt or traveling through Japan. I once thought writing a novel would be the hardest thing I would ever have to do. I never thought I would have the courage to live my best life as a transgender woman. These dreams may seem huge to some of you and some may seem trivial to others but for me, these are all gigantic moments that shaped my life. Along the way though, countless dreams have been lost; to be an astronaut, a comic book artist, a filmmaker, the list goes on and on. Their remnants still linger and spark to life every now and again but these dreams are mostly gone, killed by inexperience or by the harsh realities of life. For many these types of failures cast a pall of disillusionment over one’s life. The shattered sports dream, crushed by injury. The artist’s dreams, ground down to nothing by the heel of capitalism. When a dream dies, it hurts. Yet if we do not dream, and dream big, then we risk spending our lives stuck in one place. No wind in our sails, no imagination to spark life in our eyes. I still remember the time I spent in Japan and cherish them. I remember how exhilarating it felt to finish that first book. I remember the warmth of the very first hug I received after I came out. I pull strength from these accomplishments to look ahead towards the dreams that have yet to come. We all need something to work towards. Something that inspires us, something that we can be passionate about. That is where our dreams are born.

As I said in the opening, a big dream is not a dream doomed to failure or forlorn longing. Our wildest, biggest dreams can come true but how can we separate these from mere fantasy? You start by asking if your dream is attainable and if it is realistic. While these two qualities seem identical on the surface they are two sides of the very same coin. Both exist to determine if your dream is possible in subtly different ways. All goals both big and small have these qualities built into them but short-term goals tend to focus on the here and now whereas big dreams require us to stop and truly consider these two questions.

First lets consider if a dream is attainable. This is asking if your goal is even possible or if it merely a fantasy. You will not grow wings and fly this year. If you are 60 and overweight you can get in shape but you will not be able to land an NFL contract as a linebacker. I will not be able to travel to Saturn to stare at its rings and moons. All of these goals are simply not attainable. Our goals and dreams need to be grounded in what is possible, constrained by the physics and laws of this universe. Ask yourself “can” this thing be done, not if. After all, no one thought man could fly and then the Wright brothers proved everyone wrong in 1903. In less than 70 years Neil Armstrong landed on the moon. These massive achievements were not done over night though. There were challenges and obstacles to overcome, the skills and technology needed to achieve these were gathered and improved over decades. This brings us to our second question, just because something can be done does that mean that it’s practical?

Is your dream realistic? By this I am talking about the practical means by which you will achieve your goals. Do you have the ability, the money, the time and resources to do the thing you want to do? I would love to visit a country on every continent this year, but I have neither the time nor the money to do such a trip in a year, but in several years? Maybe. The limitations of the practicality question are not restricted to the material constraints around us, they extend to almost every part of a goal. Do I have the skills to complete this in a satisfying manner? Do I have the knowledge to do this competently? A good example of how personal this can get is a goal I set last year, one date a month. I have friends who do twelve dates a week so one a month seemed doable. I had to reset this goal early in the year though, because I have no skills and this goal required the active participation of twelve other people that felt a mutual attraction. It did not go well for me. The question if a goal is realistic or not has little to do with others and mostly concerns you.

One thing we can all take away from this is that all goals, big or small, are important. All of our goals require us to consider if they are specific, measurable, attainable, and realistic (I learned that there IS a T! Timely. Bleh). Do you need to consider these if you want to achieve your dreams? No. But they do help you keep track and stay on top of the multiple projects and dreams you are working towards. Being specific will help you focus on what you are trying to achieve. Making measurable goals will tell you if you need to adjust your expectations. Determining if a dream is achievable will separate fantasy from reality and realistic goals will tell you if a dream is possible. These steps will not make your dreams come true for you. That requires hard work, passion, and skill which is what we will talk about next month!