A Line is Drawn
I have noticed a restlessness within me for the past few weeks.Some people develop restless leg syndrome, I have developed a restless mind. It is something that I just can't seem to figure out. Perhaps it is a side effect of finding resolution in my job situation, or perhaps it is because I am waiting on further changes to come into effect. All I know is that I can't stay still, or stay focused on anything for a large amount of time. This is a problem for someone with as much to do as myself, with a back catalog of unfinished projects as long as my arm. But perhaps this backlog of projects points to something that has gone on longer than I suspect. It has been two years since I finished my last long form story, projects for the Pit and Lovers are trudging along but that's exactly the problem. Trudging. So perhaps I have had this difficulty longer than I am willing to admit.
Admittedly part of my difficulty comes from the simple fact that I have spent less time than I should on my writing. Often I will say that I didn't ave the time to dive into a large project like I used to, I look back at my week and wonder, “Where does all my time go?” So I spent the past week looking at how I spend my day. Commuting to work takes about an hour total from my day, exercise (when I do it) takes no more than an hour so those two activities can't be blamed. All in all I am left with nearly a full night do get things done and yet I consistently fail to do much of anything. This past weekend is a prime example of this. It was to be two days devoted to creative output, I set out with one goal in mind: write. While I did do some writing over the past weekend, it was not nearly the volume I was expecting or hoping for and little was accomplished over the course of the weekend. I set out with the best of intentions so why did nothing come of it? It was because I spent to much time zombified in front of my TV, playing video games or just simply watching TV. This extends to the computer as well, spending my time on Facebook or just farting around the internet. None of these activities are inherently bad, done with moderation they are valuable ways to relax and to let ones brain digest the day. But when someone goes home and immediate plops down in front of the TV and then spends the remainder of the night doing nothing, that is a waste. The screens that fill my day are not bad on their own but they are not constructive either. Most Sundays I spend time writing one of these posts but when the TV is on it takes me three times as long to get my thoughts down. This is because I am filling my day with distractions, flashy, mind numbing distractions. How many times have you caught yourself flipping channels, over and over again, looking for something to watch when nothing is on?
This week I am putting a stake in the ground. I am drawing a line across the ground and marking out the battlefield. This week I am breaking away from my TV. I will watch my shows and game with the guys but the difference will be moderation. Ultimately the challenge is one within me, I must be the one who says “enough,” and turns the TV off. It will take work, watching TV is easy and enjoyable and it provides us with instant gratification, which may be a root cause for my recent restlessness. Who knows, only time will be able to tell for sure. But in the end I should have more than enough time in my day to eat, sleep, write and be happy and that is the plan.
Sayonara.
I've found that my weekly assignments - the fact that i have to turn something in - is about as important as anything in my class. I think I mentioned this to you the last time we spoke on the phone. The other things are having to give weekly feedback to other students and having to read for inspiration and technique - ie looking at other work to see how the writers achieve the effect they achieve - or just looking to see what subject they wrote on. the other thing about the class is that I don't have to come up with assignments myself. I get to give that worry away. Also, the fact that someone is going to read what i've written is goad to write. I say all this to tell you that should you want to make weekly posts or something, i can give you weekly feedback. Since the pieces will be shorter, it'll be fairly easy to give timely replies. Just want you to know that I'll be glad to facilitate your writing in what way i can. Sometimes waiting a month for some response or some dialogue on writing makes it seem less important or less relevant.
Let me know if you want to vary the way we interact and communicate if that'll help you to write more regularly.
Thanks Mike I think that for now my weekly posts and the monthly postings on Musings are enough. It comes back to Neil Gaiman's rules of writing, I just need to write more and make a conscious effort to do so. So far I have had limited success but success none the less.
Definite success.