Biding my Time
Well this is it, tomorrow I get to start my new (old) job on Monday. It's a new company and new managers but all in all I think my day to day activities will remain the same. This week was a rather nice one, with school starting here in NC, it seemed that the parents didn't want to get much work done, which left me with ample time to start and finish a rather large video project. Hopefully in the coming days more stability will come to my work life and I will grow more comfortable there. However after all this change it seems like more change is on the way, I have new responsibilities and already new employee's have been hired and we have new areas to cover (maybe my edit machine and me will move? ). So yes even though the big question of my job stability has finally been answered things continue to change.
It is a sign of life, change. The changing of the seasons, the growth from childhood to grown up children. It is the one constant in this world, things will change. Even though I know that starting on Monday I will stuck here with no vacation for the next 365 days, I also know that things will change. What changes will occur? Who knows. Bills will be paid, stories will be written and I will continue to succeed or flounder at the projects I have already dreamed up, all the while imagining new and exciting things to occupy my time.
As you can probably tell, there has not been a great deal of activity from me this week, the video project is partially to blame for that. Staying late at work leaves little time for eating, chores and then play. So of course I ignored my chores (kidding)! It was a good feeling, being able to work like that again. In case you don't know, my job is a video editor, it's what I was hired for. I like editing, it is very much like writing for me, except that the images come already pre-made and it's my job to help them tell their story. Sometimes (like this project) that story needs a bit more help than usual, but the assembly into a finished product is a task I enjoy and is one I am good at. For a whole day (ok, I still had to meet clients so most of the day) all my creative energy was focused, intent on finishing the project before the deadline. It is a great feeling, caught up in the moment, allowing it to just flow out and then finishing everything up and being able to hold the project in my hands. It is a feeling of accomplishment.
It is a feeling a felt when I finished my first novel length story. Accomplishment. Yet things change, as they ever do. Right now I am trying to grasp that second story, all the while changing the entire world of the first. My writing has gained more clarity and my story telling has benefited greatly, meaning that I have an entire story to add to, change, correct and rewrite. It is part of the burden of being a writer. Knowing that you will change and grow and struggling with the balance of getting every little thing perfect or taking what you have now and throwing it out there to be published, to be judged. In the past I have endured my own share of harsh, critical pronouncements about my work, it is why I have held what I have written back, hidden behind a veil that only a few get glimpses of. Their encouragement emboldens me to move forward but it also makes me cautious, for these few precious souls are now invested in my projects. I want to produce something good, not just to make myself proud but my benefactors as well, to show that their faith in me is not misplaced dreaming. So I will continue to change and grow, not because others are watching but because I must to achieve the vision I have set for my work. While I am not there yet, I will be one day. One day I will be able to shape words like I shape video, except they will be my visions, my tales that are formed for all the world to see.
Sayonara
