The Grass is Greener
There have been times in my life when I have lost sight of what inspires me, of my core values and truths. I close my eyes and see only dead ends, the wrong turns and missteps that have led me here. In the doldrums of winter life is reduced to a dull ebb and nature recedes, I find myself uninspired and unable to write. This is a process that I think many people feel and experience, after all February is the month when depression hits its highest. There is something about being locked inside, away from nature away from human company that robs us of our joy. Then spring comes, nature comes back in a flourish of color and growth and the grip of winter lessens and our hearts begin to beat again. Spring is a time of growth, of renewal and rebirth, there is an energy to the air an infectious joy that spreads from the flowers and trees to each of us. When I am outside I am often struck by the beauty that is inherently built into our world. It is undeniable that this planet is a precious gift for us to enjoy and celebrate. The cool breeze through the woods that smells of the nearby lake. The dry grassy plain with its warm comforting sunshine. I take a lot of my inspiration from nature, so this time of the year is wonderful for me.
Yet as much as I want to go outside and play in it, this week has unfortunately been one that has been spent inside. There are changes afoot, some for the better, others not so much. There has been a lot of effort put into learning the ropes of the new site and I need to redesign the entire thing for it to flow together correctly. Our editing computer is in at work meaning that I have had to set it up and get it working right (maybe this coming week I will get to use the thing) and I have taken on a whole new area at work, which is being closed down soon, so it is a bit of a demotion. All of that and I still have no concrete plans for May, which is when my lease is up and I will be forced to move somewhere. It is now the middle of April and I have still not learned of anything new at work about our future employment, it has officially been over a year since we were first told that a new contract was being bid on and the strain is taking its toll. The staff is inundated with rumor mongering and tensions are breaking into some catastrophic meltdowns between our personnel. So its a great environment to get some writing done. Not. To be frank I am surprised that I have managed to produce the short scraps of story that I have so far. All in all it is a bad environment, one I am not pleased to be in and one that does not foster nor nurture the talents I have.
It is easy for me to see nothing but walls right now, I look around and see nothing but obstacles that are in my way. Yet all of our lives are filled with so many good things right outside our window. I myself need to stop focusing on the negatives and look around at the flowers, feel the grass between my toes, feel the warmth of the sun and smell the cool breeze and realize that it's not so bad. Life carries on, and it is up to me to enjoy it.
“Get out among the mountains and trees friend, for they will do more for you than either man nor woman could.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
