I'm sure y'all have some questions. So, let's get to it!
So, who am I? My name is Korah Alexander, and I am a transgender woman currently living in North Carolina. I am a daughter, a sister, a dreamer, writer, artist, gamer and nerd. I like to cook, to tell stories, and laugh with those closest to me.. Since I was a small child I knew that I was different, my body didn’t match who I was inside. For nearly 30 years I struggled to change those feelings inside of me, that process of denial was one that I narrowly escaped from with my life. In 2016, I began a journey, one devoted to figuring out what was really going on inside of me. By 2017, my path forward was clear, I started my hormone replacement therapy and finally began living a full life as Korah! It hasn't always been the easiest of roads to get here, but every tear, every broken relationship, and every drop of sweat shed during my coming out has been worth it. My gender confirmation surgery in May of 2019 is the next step in my journey to feeling whole.
As a woman with certain (*ahem) anatomical differences. There will always be remnants of the decades I spent in a body that was biologically male. I have come to terms with my height, broad shoulders, and deep voice. There are parts of me that I will always carry and can't change. I can fix what is between my legs, which has been a source of deep pain and anxiety, for many, many years.
The most important reason is that this part of my anatomy makes me feel unattractive. I try very hard to not think about my nether regions, but it’s hard not to (see below). I am reminded that I’m not a “normal” woman every morning when I get dressed, every time I go to the bathroom, and every night when I go to bed. I have chosen to stay single because dating or being intimate with anyone with this thing attached is an anxious and painful thought. Because of this part of my anatomy, I feel less than other women, because it makes me different. It is a difference that I do not welcome, something that divides and separates me from other women, no matter how much they accept and love me. Surgery will eliminate some of these barriers and will help me to lead a more fulfilled and productive life, free of these and other worries.
It will make daily life a bit easier.
It is stressful to continually worry about if a certain something is or isn’t showing. I have to think about it every time I step out of my house. When we stand up in church, I wonder "is anything showing?"" When I go to the beach, do I need to wear more than my usual two bikini bottoms today? Is my tunic or top low enough to cover my neither regions? Can I even weat this pair of pants or skirt without it showing? All this effort to cover up something that should not be there. Certain skirts, pants, and dresses are just off limits for me. The stress of continually monitoring that part of my body and wardrobe (in addition to everything else we have to worry about as women) wears on my confidence. Some days I choose just to stay home rather than go outside and be around other people.
It will help my Hormone Replacment Therapy.
Like many transwomen who transition at a later date in life, I am fighting an uphill battle. The testosterone that is created in my body must be continuously repressed before estrogen begins to take effect. It is a constant struggle to find the right balance of hormones, and so far my results have been really mixed. Each day, I take six pills and three different medications to facilitate my transition. The removal of my testosterone producing gonads will drastically cut down the number of medications I am on while also increasing their effectiveness.
Gender confirmation surgery (GCS) is known by a whole host of other names, such as bottom surgery, sex reassignment, genital reconstruction, and gender reassignment. They all reference the same procedures, but I like to use gender confirmation because even though it may sound drastic, this procedure is only confirming the reality of who I have always been. GCS covers a wide range of surgical procedures for both transwomen and transmen but is primarily concerned with removing the genitals of one's natal sex and reshaping the surrounding tissues to form the new genitalia so that the patient's body is in better alignment with their internal gender identity. In my case, this procedure is known as a penile inversion vaginoplasty. If you really want to know all the gory details here's a paper detailing exactly what's involved (hint: it's exactly what it sounds like!).
According to the state laws in North Carolina and the WPATH standards of care, a trans person should be on HRT for a year before becoming a surgical candidate. Then there is the high cost involved. The unfortunate reality is that these procedures are usually not covered by health insurance, which meant that this was out of my reach when I first transistioned.
I spent a year coming out as Korah, I really like to consider my options and next steps before I commit to something as dramatic as this. Today, I am 100% sure I want to have this procedure, and with a skilled surgeon in my backyard, I decided I had to get this done while the opportunity was still there! While there were surgical dates open before May of 2019, I wanted to give myself the chance to slim down as well as take care of some pre-surgery prep work so I can achieve the best results. After all, I only get one shot at this!
Our entire healthcare system is in a state of flux right now. This is especially true when it comes to transgender-related care and affirming policies that would let people like me get the coverage we need. In spite of many health organizations asserting that hormone therapy and surgeries like GCS should be considered medically necessary, my previous health insurance did not have a set policy to cover my transition-related care at all. I’ve been paying for mental health and hormone therapy pretty much on my own since 2016. Before now, I simply believed I could never afford to have this kind of surgery.
Recently that changed when I started a new job in April. The first thing I searched for when my new healthcare policy activated was this specific surgery. Turns out it was listed under the items covered. I felt like I had won the lottery.
Recently my insurance came through and we were able to get the cost significantly reduced. I will only need to pay my surgeons fee's upfront. Which is still A LOT, but more manageble than what I thought it would originally be.
I am so incredibly lucky to have found Dr. Keelee MacPhee practically in my backyard here in North Carolina. She does a lot of work in the local community and came highly recommended by everyone I talked too. I had about a hundred questions for her, and she patiently answered each and every one. I have the utmost confidence in her ability to perform this procedure and that she will achieve the best results possible. With her offices being local it means that I will have the best of care on hand, and any complications can be dealt with swiftly. Her website can be found here.
Yes. The majority of the money raised in my campaign will cover my procedure, but it also includes a small amount to cover my living expenses during such a long recovery. The recovery period is around 8 weeks, much of which I will be restricted to limited movement. If I heal quickly, I could start doing part-time work (in a very, very limited capacity) at the end of six weeks. This is rare though, and I need to be prepared for any prolonged absence from work as well as any complications that might come later. If I can't go back to work for two months or longer, I still need to be able to pay rent and keep the power on. This is included in the goal.
After a pretty painless series of exchanges my insurance notified me and my surgeon that the surgery had been covered. This means I am responsible for the surgeon fees and some miscelaneous device costs. All of this money is due up front. I added $2000 to cover living expenses for the two months I will miss from work.
All of the money donated to this campaign will be used to cover my surgery and recovery expenses only. No expensive trips to Disney Land, no new houses, or cars. Just my surgery, and my recovery.
Of course! You can even do both! Offline donations of cash or check will be counted towards the total. Once I have recieved the donation I can enter it onto the page either with your name or anonymously.
You can also donate anonymously online as well! Once you register and are ready to donate you should see a check box under your name that says, "Hide name and comment..." This will let me know who has donated but on the public side of the page it will list your name as "Anonymous." Neat right?
Go Fund Me has a full FAQ about donating with their site right here!
Every journey we take has multiple steps, each of which changes both the traveler and the destination. I started my transition three years ago knowing that this day would one day come. I knew I wanted to have gender confirmation surgery one day, but had always assumed I would need to travel and spend significant amounts of money to do it. I never thought I would have the opportunity to achieve this part of my dream so soon. Yet I must say that this is a fix for a very specific problem, not a miracle cure for the hardships of life. I will still need to grapple with the other parts of me forever changed by testosterone that can't be fixed with modern medicine. I will still have to assert my womanhood to those who refuse to believe I am who I say I am. This surgery will not repair the bonds that were broken or mend a lonely heart. It is but the next step in a very long journey to be true to myself, the goal I have been aiming for all this time. After this surgery, I will look in the mirror, and the reflection staring back will finally match who I have always been. That opportunity, that chance, is one I have to take no matter the cost. Will you help me get there?
Thank you,
♥ Korah Alexander