This week we started the second half of the year! I am hoping that many of you have picked up some energy, and have begun to once again work towards your goals and dreams. Over the years I have given you countless “ra-ra” posts about going out there, and knocking down obstacles and achieving your dreams. So instead of rehashing much of those posts, I wanted to get a bit more personal. I wanted to chat about how I create, what makes me write, and some of the obstacles I have had to overcome along the way. My hope is not that you walk away thinking how great I am (I’m not) but rather that you would come away inspired. Ready to take on the world! If I can do it, so can you!
It was 2008 and I had the perfect plan for my life. I would combine my love of travel, my love of helping others, and my love of Japan into a single career. I would go overseas and teach English, immerse myself in a culture I had only seen from afar, and gather up more experiences and ideas for my stories. I had been studying Japanese in my car as I delivered pizza for years. I sold all of my stuff and moved into a single room that I rented from a nice family, just to have the experience living in a cramped space. I filled out the massive amount of paper work that was asked for and meet each of their requirements. I waited excitedly for the first round of interviews that would surely see the value of hiring someone like me. This, I thought, was a sure bet.
After months of waiting, I got an email with my assigned application number. At last, I would know where I had been assigned for my first interview! I checked the webpage and didn’t see it. Thinking it a simple mistake I checked it again. No. I closed the browser, reopened it. My number wasn’t there. Not later that night. Not later that week. Not later that month. The impossible had happened, I hadn’t made it past the first cut. My sure bet ended up a giant, devastating bust.
This is something that I think every dreamer must eventually face. The broken emptiness that comes after trying for a dream, only to have it come crashing down all around you. I had upended my life. I had told people that this was my plan, my goal. I was ready to move at a seconds notice. It wasn’t meant to be. I sat in my cramped little room, heartbroken and bitter. What could I have done differently? How dare they not chose me! Did I make a mistake on the application? What did I do wrong? Then the most monstrous question of them all. Now what do I do?
I was lucky. I had the support of my friends. I had the love of those nearest me. I balled up my courage and declared that I wasn’t going to let this bring me down. A new dream dawned that summer. One that seemed as absurd as it was crazy. If I couldn’t get a job in Japan and live there, then I would just have to go there myself (yes, singular, alone). That October I boarded a plane for a place I had once only dreamed about. As I walked the streets of Tokyo and Kyoto I could hardly contain my excitement. My dream was fulfilled. Not in the way I had planned, but I could finally reach out and touch it. I was here! I had made it to Japan!
When we start out on our dreams we don’t know if they will fly or fail. We can’t know. The sure bets of this world are all to often left broken and unfulfilled. One day all of us will have to ask ourselves that monstrous question of “now what?” We each have the option to walk away. To never dream again. To just get on our little hamster wheels, pay the bills, eat the meal and sleep. Or we can take the harder road. We can shove our fears aside, dust off our pants, and stand amid the ruin. We can look at what was once shattered and see something brand new. We stand amid the ruin and dare to dream again. Don’t stop. Don’t give up. Keep trying. You will get there one day.
You got resilience.